Researchers have found that the capacity to develop intimate relationships is highly influenced by the kind of relationships the child had early in life. The ability to trust is basic to any relationship. Trust comes more easily for some people than for others depending upon their past experiences. A child who successfully develops trust will feel safe and secure in his world. Those who are unable to develop trust are more likely to view their world as inconsistent and unpredictable.

Learning to trust begins at birth. Eric Erikson describes this as the most fundamental stage in a person's psychological development. Babies are born completely helpless and dependent upon their caregivers for food, shelter, comfort and love. When a baby's cries are responded to in a loving, attentive, and consistent manner, he will feel safe and learn to trust his environment. This kind of positive parent-child relationship teaches him that he can communicate in order to get his needs met. If instead, his parents are inconsistent, rejecting or emotionally unavailable, he is more likely to feel mistrust and may carry a sense of shame and inadequacy into his adult relationships.

Trust is the cornerstone of a meaningful and lasting relationship. When you trust someone, you believe that he will be honest, loyal, and faithful and will not abandon you. You believe that she will forgive you and accept you unconditionally. You think of your partner as your ally, not your foe. Only when you feel safe with your partner will you be willing to be authentic and vulnerable.

Previous hurts and losses can interfere with a person's ability to trust and be honest in a relationship. The adult whose childhood relationships were painful will be more likely to view situations that others would perceive as innocuous through a lens of mistrust. The wounds of an adult who has been betrayed by someone she loved, admired and trusted will take time to heal. It is not easy, but regardless of the past, people do have the capacity to recover and trust again. Sometimes while recovering from a hurtful relationship, a person will develop greater personal strength, self awareness and the capacity for more fulfilling relationships.

Childhood and Society, Erik Erikson